


Strong Enough to Rule the Heart of Any Man (This Thing Called Love)

by whispered_story



Series: This Thing Called Love [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Future Fic, Hurt Jensen, M/M, Supernatural Reverse Big Bang Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:27:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4756565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years after the end of Supernatural, Jared and Jensen's careers have taken priority over their relationship - until Jensen has an accident that makes Jared rethink his life. [reposted, first posted on livejournal 29/10/2010]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strong Enough to Rule the Heart of Any Man (This Thing Called Love)

**Author's Note:**

> Wonderful [art](http://artistic-sillie.livejournal.com/277072.html) by [sillie82](http://sillie82.livejournal.com).  
> Title taken from Johnny Cash's _This Thing Called Love_.

The first few months after they got together, Jared used to think about everything as 'before' and 'after', divided their life into when they were friends and when they became something more. It was a little weird at first, getting used to his best friend being his boyfriend. He was suddenly allowed to touch Jensen in ways he couldn't before, woke up with Jensen plastered to his side instead of sleeping in his own bedroom one floor down. He could kiss Jensen good-morning, was sprawled all over Jensen on the couch when it used to be the two of them sitting next to each other, shoulders and thighs pressed together. His life was no longer just his, but his and Jensen's. 

It was different, but it was good. It was like things suddenly made sense, like something was righted that he hadn't even known was wrong. 

He got used to it after a few months, once the newness of their relationship started wearing off. Jensen, their relationship, became normal, became the thing Jared always counted on, became so much part of his life that he couldn't even remember what it had been like to not have Jensen like this, to hold him and kiss him and touch him.

And then Supernatural wrapped up its last season.

They moved back to Los Angeles together, into one house, and Sam and Dean might no longer be part of their lives but Jared and Jensen still had each other. Jared, for a few naïve weeks, thought maybe the change wouldn't be as drastic as he'd always feared it would be.

That's when reality settled in.

Reality was another play Jensen did in Texas while Jared was working in L.A. Flying out to England for a movie two days after Jensen finally came home. Returning to an empty house while Jensen was working in Mexico. Vancouver, New York, Ireland, Australia. They were flying from one place to the next without managing to be in the same one at the same time for very long. 

They squeezed in a couple of weeks together whenever they could, flew out to visit each other a few times when a project took a little longer. It wasn't much, and Jared found himself longing for these days, the few stolen hours they got to spend together, but it wore at him sometimes. In the end though, it was worth it. Being with Jensen, even if their time together was limited, would always be worth it.

\+ 

Jared was in Texas when the phone call came.

He'd flown in the day before, straight from Australia after the shooting from hell. He was coming off of weeks and weeks of running around in sweltering heat with a co-star who thought the world revolved around her and bitched more than she worked, and a director who had no idea how to reel her in. The script had been awesome and Jared had thought the movie would be one of the highlights of his career, but he'd never been happier about seeing a shooting wrap up. He was exhausted, frustrated, and just wanted to crawl into his bed and spend a week doing nothing but eating and sleeping. 

His mother sent him straight to bed when she saw him, and Jared stripped out of his clothes and was asleep within minutes, not waking up until almost noon the next morning.

"Feeling better?" his mom asked when he finally made it into the kitchen. 

"Much," he said, dropping onto a chair. "Where's dad?"

"Doing grocery shopping." 

Sherri put a mug of coffee in front of Jared, running a hand through his disheveled hair before getting another coffee for herself and sitting down across from him.

"You still look tired, JT," she said, giving Jared a once-over. 

"Filming was tough, is all." Jared took a sip of coffee and sighed contently. "I'll have some time to recharge in L.A."

"Nothing new lined up?"

Jared shrugged. "I have a few meetings, a couple of auditions for possible projects. But nothing definite."

His mother nodded. "Good, I think you could need a few days of rest," she said with a small smile. "What about my favorite son-in-law? Is he gonna be in Los Angeles, too?"

"I didn't know Megan got married," Jared teased and laughed when his mother glared at him. "My _boyfriend_ is gonna be there for a few days and then he's off to Vancouver."

"You're not seeing each other a lot lately," Sherri said, sounding disapproving. 

They'd been over this before, his mother finding ways to bring up kids and marriage and commitment more and more frequently lately. Jared couldn't even blame her for wanting him to settle down and travel less. He'd thought about it fleetingly a couple of times, telling himself one day he would. One day there wouldn't be one job after the other; he'd find time to focus on other things, maybe try to find more work in L.A. It'd been a vaguely shaped plan for a while now, but there'd always been a new project to distract him, an opportunity always too good to pass it up, knowing that things could change in their line of work any day and that he needed to make the best of it while he could.

"Gotta make a living somehow," he kidded, giving his mother a smile.

Sherri looked at him exasperatedly. "Between you and Jensen, I think you're doing just fine."

"Yeah, maybe," Jared agreed. "But I love what I'm doing. Jensen does, too. We're making things work as best as we can, mom."

"I know. And you know how proud your dad and I are of you."

"But?" Jared prompted.

"I want you to be happy."

Jared nodded. "I am," he said in a softer voice. "It's hard sometimes, us being apart so much, but we're doing okay."

"I just worry that you two working so much will break you up someday," Sherri said. "You'd be an idiot to let that boy go. And I know I didn't raise my son to be an idiot."

Jared smiled at her, taking her hand in his and giving it a squeeze. "You didn't," he said.

Ten minutes later, Jason called.

\+ 

_We're at the hospital._

The words rang in Jared's head and he swallowed. "What?" he asked. "What happened?"

"Jensen fell down the stairs."

Jared groped for the kitchen table behind him, sitting down on a chair heavily. His mom was watching him with worried eyes, her hand on his arm.

"Fell…is he okay?"

"His knee seems to be busted," Jason explained. "That's all I know, man. The doctors are still looking at him."

"Okay, yeah. Just…he was conscious, right?"

"He was conscious," Jason confirmed, voice softer. "Jared, man. Listen, he's okay. He got hurt, but it's not that bad."

"Yeah," Jared said, feeling tears making his eyes burn and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I - I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Yeah, that'd be good. You know Jensen, he puts on a good front, but I'm sure he'd like you to be here."

"Tell him I'm on my way," Jared said. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Call me up if there's any news."

"I will," Jason promised before ending the call.

Jared hung up, staring at the phone in his hand. He was trembling. His stomach felt twisted in a million knots.

"Jared?" his mother asked. "What happened?"

"Jensen got hurt. Something with his knee," he said. "I need to get home as soon as possible."

"Of course," Sherri said, squeezing his arm. "Go pack and I'll call the airport and book you the next flight possible."

Jared nodded slowly. "Thanks, mom," he said, his voice breaking, as he got up.

\+ 

The flight seemed to take forever.

Jared tried to sleep to make the time pass faster, but when he closed his eyes he saw Jensen. Saw him tumble down the stairs at their house, lying at the bottom, eyes closed and unmoving. 

Jared snapped his eyes back open, took a deep breath.

"He's fine," he whispered to himself. Conscious, Jason had said. But even if Jared knew that, his mind seemed to conjure up imagines saying otherwise and he gave up on sleep after a few futile attempts, staring out the window at the clouds instead, his hands curled in fists to keep them from shaking. 

When they landed, Jared was one of the first people off the plane, rushing to get his luggage and leave. He took a cab straight to the hospital, calling Jason on the way.

"Any news?" was the first thing he asked when Jason picked up.

"He's okay. His knee not so much, but it's nothing that can't be fixed. Ligament is partly torn," Jason said. "They're gonna release him in the morning."

"Okay. I just landed. I'll be there in thirty minutes," he said. "Are you still at the hospital?"

"Yeah. Do you want me to wait for you?"

"No, it's okay. I bet your wife's already waiting for you, so go home. I can take it from here."

"Okay. Call me if you guys need anything. And I mean _anything_ , got it?"

"Thanks, man," Jared said. 

He ended the call and looked outside the window, the cab driver humming softly to himself. His hands felt clammy, his heart beating fast and he kept seeing what he saw on the plane, Jensen lying unconscious on the floor. It could have happened - while Jared was miles away and not able to help, to take care of Jensen.

\+ 

Jensen looked a little pale, but he smiled when Jared knocked on the door, sticking his head inside.

"Jared," he said, and Jared wanted to cry.

"Hey," he replied, stepping into the room, his voice shaking. 

He sat down at Jensen's side and took Jensen's hand into his. It was warm, and Jared wasn't sure what he expected, what he thought he'd find in the room, but he felt as if a weight was suddenly taken off his shoulders. Jensen was there, looking a little worse for wear, but he was fine. Alive and smiling. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Jensen said, giving Jared's hand a squeeze. "You didn't have to come. You haven't been home in Texas in forever."

"This is a little more important than me seeing my parents for a few days. I can go back there any time," Jared said. He leaned in and kissed Jensen before he could reply.

"I know. I'm just saying it's not that bad," Jensen explains. "But I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." Jared glanced down at Jensen's leg. "So, Jason's said your knee is busted."

"Lateral collateral ligament." 

"Meaning?"

"I'm an idiot who slipped going down stairs," Jensen teased, the smile on his face a little strained and Jared smoothed his hair back. "The ligament's partly torn. A few weeks of rest and I'll be good as new."

"No surgery?"

"Nope," Jensen replied. "I'm not even in pain, so don't worry about me. They have really good painkillers here."

Jared chuckled. "Okay."

"Yeah. Seriously, I'm good, Jay," Jensen said. "They wanna keep me over night to monitor me, cause I bumped my head going down, but I can go home tomorrow."

Jared smiled. "Guess I'll play nurse for a while then."

"Hmm, will you wear scrubs?" Jensen asked around a yawn.

"I'll see what I can do," Jared promised. He watched Jensen's eyes flutter close and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Jensen's forehead, whispering, "You scared me."

"Sorry," Jensen mumbled. "Missed you."

"I missed you, too," Jared said softly. 

He remained where he was, sitting next to Jensen, holding his hand as Jensen's breath evened out as he fell asleep.

Jensen woke up again an hour later and he managed to talk Jared into going home, telling him he should go take care of Harley and Sadie and come back the next day to take Jensen home.

"I'll be back first thing in the morning," Jared swore. 

He kissed Jensen and then rested his forehead against Jensen's for a moment, feeling Jensen's breath hit his face in small puffs.

"I know you will be," Jensen said. "Now go. Say hi to the kids and get some rest."

Jared kissed him once more, whispered, "I love you," before he got up.

\+ 

Jared had slept alone in their bed countless times, they both had, but he'd never felt this lonely in it. Never wanted Jensen there with him this bad.

He let Sadie and Harley sleep with him, curled around him one on each side, but he still had trouble falling asleep.

He'd seen Jensen with bruises littering his body from stunts gone wrong, he'd nursed him through colds and flu, but Jensen had never been seriously injured since the met. Even if it wasn't life threatening, if Jensen would heal, he felt an uncomfortable twist in his stomach.

Something worse could have happened. Jensen, the person he loved the most in the world, wasn't invincible and seeing proof of it for the first time left Jared feeling unsettled.

\+ 

"Harley, down," Jared said, voice firm. "Sadie, you be a good girl and stay back, okay?"

He grabbed Harley's collar, holding him down, and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that Sadie was listening. Her tail was wagging, but she was frozen to the spot, watching him with big, brown eyes.

He crouched down and petted Harley to calm him down. "You gotta be careful around Jensen for a while," he said.

Jensen chuckled and Jared craned his hair back to see him walk through the door with his crutches, knee in a brace. He was walking slowly, a crease of concentration and pain on his forehead.

"Fat chance," Jensen said with a small smile. "I think they take after their daddy."

"I'll be careful around you, too," Jared teased, getting back up. He rested his hand on the small of Jensen's back. "You need help?"

"'m okay." 

"I could carry you," Jared offered.

Jensen narrowed his eyes. "I could beat you with these crutches."

Jared laughed softly. "Didn't know you were into that kinda stuff," he teased.

"Moron," Jensen huffed and kept moving forward carefully. Jared closed the front door, shooting Harley and Sadie another stern look, before walking Jensen into the living room, keeping pace with him in case Jensen needed help. Jensen struggled with the crutches, but he made it to their couch eventually. 

"I'll get you some ice and painkillers," Jared said once Jensen was lying on the couch, his knee elevated.

He'd talked to Jensen's doctor before they left the hospital, expecting to receive detailed instructions on how to take care of Jensen for the next few weeks, but apparently letting Jensen rest was pretty much all he could do. Let Jensen's knee heal on its own time, he'd been told. It was frustrating, knowing that there was little he could do for Jensen, but Jared was determined to at least make sure that Jensen would be as comfortable as possible for the foreseeable future.

"Anything else you need?" he asked.

"Can you get me the phone?" Jensen asked. "I need to let Melissa know what happened so she can cancel everything for the next few weeks."

"Shit, I totally forgot about that. _Hellcats_."

"Not gonna happen now. It was just a small appearance anyway, and I wouldn't have done it if Tom wasn't involved anyway. It's not a big deal," Jensen shrugged. "It just sucks that I gotta sit still for the next three or four weeks, man."

"I know. But hey, I'll be here to entertain you and wait on you hand and foot," Jared said. "Just think of all the ways you can take advantages of me in the next few weeks."

"You have stuff to do, Jared." Jensen struggled to sit up, but Jared pushed him back down with a hand on his chest, sitting down on the edge of the couch.

"It can wait."

"You're not calling off things for me."

"I'm not. I didn't really have anything but a couple of meeting scheduled for the next few weeks anyway. But I'm not signing up for anything until you're back on your feet," Jared stated, giving Jensen a hard stare. "You're more important."

"I don't need you around twenty-four seven."

"Oh, really? Cause I remember the doctor saying you can't put any strain on your knee for a while."

"Crutches."

"You can cross a room with crutches, Jensen, but you're not gonna be able to take care of everything on your own," Jared argued.

Jensen frowned at him, shrugged. "I just-" he trailed off.

"You want to be a selfless martyr, I know. You always do that," Jared said. "Just let me take care of you."

"You shouldn't have to. You have things to do."

"I don't," Jared assured him. "Even if you hadn't gotten hurt, I probably wouldn't be doing much anyway. I need a break after the movie I just shot."

Jensen's lips twitched into a small smile. "The shooting from hell," he said knowingly.

"Yeah," Jared agreed. "The shooting from hell."

"Fine. I guess you deserve some down-time." 

"Yup. And I'm gonna spend it here, with you," Jared said resolutely. "Now I'm gonna go get the phone. You lie back and relax."

Jensen smiled up at him, brushing his hand against Jared's as Jared got up from the couch. "Thanks," he said. "I'm glad you came home, Jared."

\+ 

"Would it be bad to say that I'm kinda enjoying this?" Jared asked, kissing Jensen's forehead.

Jensen nuzzled his face into Jared's neck. "Lying naked in bed with me?" 

"Well, yeah. But it's because you're hurt. You'd already be in Vancouver if it wasn't for your knee," Jared explained. "I feel bad about being happy that you're not."

"'s not like you're happy I got hurt," Jensen said. He slid his hand from Jared's hip to his stomach, thumb moving in circles over Jared's skin.

It was mid-morning, and they were tangled up in their bed together, sheets covering naked bodies. Jared had gotten up an hour earlier to take the dogs out, but he'd returned to bed right after with coffee and pancakes for them. 

The sun was shining in, and Jensen was naked and warm pressed to his side, and the morning was damn perfect except for Jensen's brace scratching against Jared's leg. Jensen's doctor had advised him to wear it at night for now to not further twist the knee and increase the damage, and it felt like a constant reminder of the fact that Jensen was hurt. And that his injury was the only reason they were able to spend some time together, that this would be short-lived.

Jared ran his hand down Jensen's back, stopping at the swell of his ass. "When was the last time we did this?" he asked softly. "A whole morning in bed together?"

"Been a while," Jensen said around a yawn. "Christmas maybe."

"Too long."

Jensen turned his face down a little, lips dragging against Jared's skin and he pressed them to Jared's shoulder. "Yeah," he agreed. 

Jared closed his eyes, sighed contently. He really was enjoying this. A little over a week in, and while Jensen wasn't always a joy to be around, Jared found himself not minding taking care of Jensen. He ignored his agent's calls about scripts, focusing on Jensen and the chores around the house. He went grocery shopping, took the dogs on runs, made sure Jensen had a new stack of DVDs and books around all the time, drove Jensen to his physical therapy appointments. Jensen got grumpy, frustrated with not being able to move around much, pent-up energy making him restless, but Jared had dealt with Jensen's bad mood for years. He knew when to leave him alone and when to distract him, joining Jensen on the couch and kissing him until he forgot his annoyance.

Jared tightened his arm around Jensen a little, drawing him even closer.

"I was thinking we could have a barbeque today," he suggested into the silence that hung between them. "You can lounge around a little, enjoy the good weather."

"Sounds good." Jensen shifted, dick dragging against Jared's hip lazily, almost innocently. "I want steak."

"Okay," Jared agreed, voice cracking with a soft moan. His hands pressed down against the small of Jensen's back, and he tilted his head down to catch Jensen's lips in a kiss. Jensen kissed him back eagerly, opening his mouth to let Jared's tongue slide it, sucking on it gently. His hand moved down Jared's stomach, and Jared gasped into the kiss when Jensen reached his cock. 

Jensen stroked him to hardness slowly, slid his hand lower to palm his balls. 

Jared grasped Jensen's thigh, hitching it leg higher and rolling them around carefully so he was on top.

"This okay for you?" Jared asked, rocking against Jensen slowly. 

"Yeah," Jensen breathed out, blinking up at Jared. "Jared."

"Shh, 's okay. I'll take care of you," Jared whispered, kissing Jensen again. 

He gripped Jensen's hips with both hands when Jensen thrust up against him, pressing him back down into the mattress, holding him immobile, and ground down against Jensen slowly.

Jensen let out a frustrating whine.

"Gotta be careful with your knee, Jensen," Jared said. "Just let me do this."

"Then stop teasing and start moving again," Jensen replied.

"Jeez, okay," Jared huffed with a chuckle. "You're bossy today."

He captured Jensen's lips in another kiss, rocking down against him slowly, careful not to jar Jensen. Their cocks slid together, caught between their stomachs, and Jared felt the damp smudges of precum they left on their skin. 

They rutted against each other lazily, sheets tangled around their hips, and Jared trailed sloppy kisses up Jensen's neck, sucking at the soft flesh behind Jensen's ear and rolling it between his teeth. 

When he bit down on it gently, just enough to be on the side of painful, Jensen came with a guttural moan, fingers tugging at Jared's hair. 

Jared kept thrusting against Jensen, Jensen's come slick between them, rocking until his orgasm washed over him.

"Hmmm," he hummed against the skin of Jensen's shoulder, breathing still ragged as he came down slowly. He flexed his hands on Jensen's hips, loosening his grip but not letting go. "Good morning."

Jensen chuckled, wrapped his arms around Jared, and kissed Jared's temple. "Good morning," he said, and it sounded more like an agreement than greeting.

\+ 

"Baked potato with sour cream and one steak," Jared said, bowing down a little as he handed Jensen his plate. "Still mooing."

"Just like I ordered it," Jensen nodded with a grin and then tilted his head up a little. 

It was Jensen's way of silently asking for a kiss. Jared wasn't really sure if Jensen was even aware of doing it. He'd teased him about it once, shortly after they'd gotten together, and Jensen had stopped for a while before slipping back into the habit. It was endearing, Jared thought, and he complied without giving it much thought, his reaction automatic after all these years together. It was almost Pavlovian, Jared thought and grinned against Jensen's lips as he kissed him now. Jensen tilted his head, Jared kissed him.

"What?" Jensen asked and Jared shook his head.

"Nothing," he replied. "Eat before your steak gets cold."

He sat down on the deckchair next to Jensen with his own plate, dragging the chair a little closer.

"This is really good," Jensen said after swallowing a bite. 

"Eat up and you'll get dessert," Jared teased with a grin, cutting off a piece of his own steak.

"Tempting, but I think I should cut down on the calories." Jensen patted his stomach. "I'm sitting around on my ass all day long. I'll be freaking huge by the time my knee is okay again."

Jared glanced at Jensen, at the flat stomach he knew was hidden under the shirt, with a dubious expression. "Looked fine to me this morning."

Jensen flushed a little, shrugged. "It does now. We'll talk again in a few weeks," he said. "You know I always gain weight when I'm lazy."

"And you know I'll gladly help you work it off again every single time," Jared replied, waggling his eyebrows. 

Jensen laughs, making Harley look up from where he's dozing and wag his tail before settling back down. 

"I really must have worn him out if he doesn't even come over to beg for a piece steak," Jared mused, looking at the dogs. He'd thrown a stick for them all afternoon while Jensen sat on the patio, enjoying the last few days of summer, the first tell-tale sign of fall slowly approaching already in the air. "Huh, Harley? You tired, boy?"

"You chased them around forever," Jensen said. "Of course he's tired."

"You'd know, you were watching me the whole time."

Jensen huffed. "As if you weren't shaking that ass in my direction on purpose."

"Maybe," Jared said, throwing a grin at Jensen, both of them knowing that Jensen was right. "Gotta make sure I still catch your attention after all these years, man."

"Right. I'm definitely not that excited by you anymore. Seen it all, done it all." Jensen pretended to look bored. "Attraction's worn off."

"I noticed," Jared said mournfully. "I bet you're thinking off other guys when we have sex these days."

"Oh yeah, it's the only way I still get it up around you," Jensen laughed and leaned over to kiss Jared. "Goof."

"You love me," Jared replied with a grin. He took Jensen's silence as agreement and speared the last piece of his steak.

"You know what I think?" he asked once he'd swallowed.

"No, can't say I do." Jensen gave him a look.

"I think we should take a vacation."

Jensen laughed. "What? Man, what is this exactly? Us working hard?"

"No, I know. 's why I'm saying we should take a vacation, because this is really nice. But I want us to have some time off together when you can actually walk around. Do stuff," Jared said, licking sour cream from his lower lip as he put his fork down. "And have lots of acrobatic sex."

"Acrobatic sex? Really, Jared?" Jensen asked, sounding amused. "In case you haven't noticed, we're not 20 anymore."

"Yeah, you're old," Jared said dolefully, pulling a face. "Nearly 40."

"I'm _not_ nearly 40, you ass."

"Closer to 40 than 30," Jared said with a laugh, watching the pinched expression on Jensen's face, knowing Jensen didn't actually mind. Most people would, but there were some rare people who aged gracefully and then there were these lucky bastards like Jensen who only seemed to get more gorgeous with each passing year.

"Be careful or there might be no sex in the near future, acrobatic or otherwise," Jensen warned, a smile tugging at his lips and the corners of his eyes crinkling up as he tried to hold the smile back.

Jared closed the small distance between them, sliding his hand around Jensen's neck and pulling him close, slotting their lips together. "You'd never hold out on me," he said confidently when they pulled apart.

Jensen licked his lips, smiled. "I'd never hold out on you," he agreed and leaned back in for another kiss.

They startled apart when the empty plate from Jared's lap slide onto the floor as he shifted his body, hitting the ground with a loud clatter.

Sadie jumped up from where she was lying, barking a couple of times, Harley growling along even as he remained lying down.

"It's okay, Sadie. Daddy's just clumsy, nothing happened," Jensen said with a laugh, holding out his hand. Sadie trotted over, calming down the moment Jensen stroked his hand over her fur. "See, everything's okay. Sorry we startled you, girl."

Jared watched them with a fond smile as he picked up the plate, his fork, and knife. There was a small crack running through the middle of the plate, but nothing actually chipped off.

"I'm getting dessert," he announced, grabbing Jensen's empty plate as well. "You want something or not? It's cheesecake from your favorite bakery."

He grinned when Jensen pulled a face. "I hate you," Jensen complained. 

"That's a yes, right?"

"Small slice," Jensen called after him. 

Jared rolled his eyes, pretending not to hear Jensen. He put the dirty dishes in the sink, deciding to clean up later, and got the cheesecake from the fridge. Ignoring Jensen's wishes, he cut two big slices and put them onto clean plates. He'd eat the rest if Jensen didn't want it.

Jensen was still patting Sadie and Harley now, too, when Jared returned. He frowned when he looked at the plates Jared was holding in his hands.

"I said small."

"Didn't hear you," Jared said with a grin. "Paranoid freak."

"Says the guy working out a million hours each week to keep his girlish figure."

"Whatever," Jared said with an easy shrug, not arguing with Jensen. He handed Jensen his plate, shooing the dogs away, before sitting down. 

He was halfway through his slice when Jensen's cell chirped, and he watched Jensen retrieve it from the pocket of his jeans, skim the text he'd received.

"Jason's dropping by tomorrow," Jensen said as he typed a quick reply. "Means you get a break, Nurse Padalecki."

"I don't mind being here," Jared replied, and Jensen shot him a smile. "I have nothing better to do anyway. And you have an appointment with your therapists tomorrow."

"You could drop me off, and Jason could come get me when I'm done, Jay. No problem," Jensen argued. "And you can go see John at his office."

"What for?" Jared asked, hoping Jensen would just drop it. He knew that technically, Jensen was right, that Jared didn't need to be around 24/7, especially not when Jason would be with Jensen. It was the prospect of meeting with his agent that made Jared hesitate though. He liked that there was no pressure of work right now and wanted to keep it that way for a little longer. Maybe even longer than it took Jensen to recover.

"Oh, don't give me that. You think I haven't heard the messages he's been leaving for days now? You should really go, Jay, before he comes kicking in our door."

Jared shrugged. "I told him I was taking a few weeks off."

"Since when has John every listened to you?" Jensen asked. "It's his job to be on your ass about jobs. You should see what kinda scripts he has, what auditions he could line up. He's not asking you to fly out and leave me alone for with this, Jared." He pointed to the brace around his knee.

Jared sighed. "I told you I'd be here until you're healed."

"Jason's coming. And even if he weren't, I can be alone for a few hours. I can take care of myself for one afternoon."

"Promise me you won't overdo it," Jared said, giving Jensen a hard stare. 

Jensen gave him a fond smile. "I won't. I swear."

Jared leaned close, kissing Jensen softly. "One meeting."

"Good enough for me," Jensen agreed.

\+ 

"I'd have to fly to New York for this," Jared said, waving the script he was holding around.

"It's a fucking _good_ script, Jared. And they want you." John gave him a poignant look.

"Look, John, I know this is your job, but I told you I'm not leaving L.A. right now."

"You could be back within one day. Shooting won't be for another few months, Jared. I think Jensen can deal with being alone for one day, if it means you have a chance at getting this role."

Jared frowned, looking down at the script he was holding tightly. He licked his lips, swallowed. "If I got this role, I'd be out of town for a few months."

"So?"

Jared hesitated. "I'm not sure I wanna do this."

"Do what?" John asked, sounding confused, and Jared could he see he was getting frustrated.

"Be gone for that long."

"Jared, what the hell are you talking about?"

Jared rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. "I've been thinking about not taking on so many big projects that are filmed outside of California anymore."

John paused, a look of surprise passing over his face. "You're not exactly Brad Pitt, Jared. You don't have scripts being thrown your way; you can't make demands like that."

"I know," Jared said. "I know this means I'll be getting less work and missing out on a few good chances. But I can do smaller roles, too."

John rubbed his face. "This is about Jensen."

"This is about my relationship," Jared corrected. "Look, man. I know you're an agent, and as my agent you probably have to tell me that what I'm doing is stupid. But you have a wife and a kid. Would you want to be away from them all the time?"

"No. But I didn't choose to be an actor."

Jared sighed. "I know," he said. "Nothing is definite yet, but I'm thinking about it and I thought you should know that. I have to talk to Jensen about it first anyway."

"You're not doing your career a favor with this."

"I'm not saying I wanna stop, man. There's tons of stuff being filmed in Los Angeles, and I'm not gonna shoot down the chance of a lifetime if it comes along, but I need to ease up a little."

John looked at him, nodded after a moment of hesitation. "I don't want you to regret this one day."

"I won't," Jared assured. "I'm not doing this for Jensen, I'm doing this for myself. I've been working non-stop since I was eighteen, and sometimes I feel like acting is all there is in my life. Do you have any idea how much time I've been able to spend with Jensen in the last few years? Or with Harley and Sadie, or my family?"

"The professional in me wants to hit you over the head."

"The professional in me thinks you have every right," Jared replied with a grin. "I'll call you, okay?"

"Okay. Get home to Jensen. Tell him he's the bane of my existence and I curse him every day."

"I'll tell him," Jared said and laughed.

\+ 

Jared felt lighter on the drive home than he had in a while, like this had been a long time coming and maybe it had.

His good mood vanished when he came home. Jensen was lying on the couch, facing the TV where he and Jason where playing _Need For Speed_. His jeans were rolled up over his brace, an ice pack on top of it.

"What happened?" Jared asked, looking between Jensen and Jason.

"Hi," Jensen said, looking sheepish.

"He tripped."

"What? Jensen, you promised you'd be careful," Jared said, voice harsher than intended, and sat down on the edge of the couch. 

Jensen struggled into a sitting position as Jared lifted the icepack, looking at the part of his knee that was visible through the brace. "It's nothing. It doesn't hurt, there's no swelling. We just put ice on it to be on the safe side."

"You got a doctor's degree while I was gone?" Jared asked sarcastically. 

Jensen rolled his eyes. "No, but I can tell whether or not my knee hurts," he replied, batting Jared's hand away. "Stop freaking out."

"I think this is my cue to leave," Jason said with a cough, getting up. He put a hand on Jared's arm. "He's really okay, dude. I'd have taken him to the hospital if I didn't think he was fine."

"You're not a doctor either," Jared argued, but his voice was a little softer. 

"Yeah, and you're overprotective," Jason replied with an easy grin. He leaned down to pull Jensen in a one-armed hug. "I'll call you."

"Yeah. I'll see you around, man."

Jason waved and Jared watched him leave before he turned back to Jensen, who held up his hands before Jared could say something.

"Jay, I swear it's fine. If I start feeling even the slightest bit of pain, I'll let you know and you can drive me to the hospital immediately without a word of protest, okay?" Jensen waited for a moment, and Jared nodded.

"Promise."

"I promise," Jensen said with a small smile, and kissed Jared briefly. "Tell me about the meeting. Anything exciting?"

Jared bit the inside of his cheek, hesitating. "Not really," he finally said. "There were a few scripts John wanted me to look at, but nothing that caught my eye."

Jensen smiled, brushing hair out of Jared's face. "He'll find something good."

"Sure," Jared said with a shrug. He placed the ice back onto Jensen's knee. "You and Jason have fun? Not counting the tripping part."

"Yeah. He asked me if I wanted to do a song with him for his next album."

"Will you?"

Jensen shrugged. "I told him I'd think about it."

"You should do it," Jared said. He knew Jensen probably wouldn't unless someone talked him into it. He'd done a few songs with Steve, joined Jason on _Crazy Love_ , but it only ever happened after hours of cajoling, or when a bet was involved. 

Jensen's lips quirked into a smile and he hooked a finger under the waistband of Jared's jeans. "You're biased."

"Doesn't mean you're not good," Jared countered. Jensen just shrugged, and Jared decided to drop the topic, maybe bring it up again some other time or wait for Jason to do it. He gestured at the play station, where Jason had paused their game, instead. "Wanna play some?"

\+ 

"You mind if I go take a nap?" Jensen asked when Jared let them back into the house.

"Of course not," Jared said, peering down at Jensen. He brushed his fingers through Jensen's hair. "You okay?"

"Tired," Jensen said and laughed wryly. "God, I bum around all day and do nothing. Physical therapy shouldn't wear me out. It's just a few stupid exercises."

"You just need a little time to recover," Jared said, stepping into Jensen's personal space and wrapping his arms around Jensen's waist. "It's just a couple more weeks and the brace comes off and things will go back to normal before you know it."

"I know," Jensen groused. "I just hate this."

Jared hummed softly, leaning down to catch Jensen's lips in a kiss. "I know you do," he said. He felt a small pang of guilt, because part of him was dreading the day things went back to normal.

"Wake me in a couple of hours, okay?" Jensen asked, leaning up for one more kiss before extracting himself from Jared's arms.

"Okay," Jared said. He watched Jensen carefully make his way up the stairs, eyes following his every movement until he reached the top. 

Jared fetched Harley and Sadie then, shooing them into the backyard for some playtime while Jensen rested.

Two hours later, Jared stumbled back into the house with a grin on his face and mud stains all over his clothes, strands of sweaty hair clinging to his forehead.

"Come on. We'll get some water and then we'll check on Jensen," he said. 

Harley collapsed in his doggie bed in the living room, ignoring Jared, but Sadie followed him into the kitchen, making a beeline for her water bowl as Jared retrieved a bottle for himself from the fridge. He emptied the whole bottle in one go and then lifted his shirt up, wiping his face with it.

"You wanna come upstairs with me, girl?" Jared asked, looking down at Sadie who thumped her tail a couple of times but didn't move. 

"Guess not," Jared muttered and gave her flank a few pats and then jogged up the stairs.

"God fucking dammit." Jensen's curse rang out into the hallway through the door when Jared reached the top. He pushed the door open carefully.

"You okay?" he asked.

Jensen was sitting at the edge of their bed in a pair of boxers and his brace, sweatpants in his hands.

"Yeah, fine," he answered with a huff, a frown on his face.

"Obviously," Jared said. He crouched down in front of Jensen, putting one hand on Jensen's good knee. "What's up?"

Jensen rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to get dressed."

"I could help."

"I'm a big boy, Jared," Jensen said with a sarcastic smile.

Jared just raised his eyebrows.

"I lost my balance when I tried to put on the sweats, that's all," Jensen snapped. "I don't need your help getting dressed. I just can't wait for this fucking thing to come off."

Jared smiled easily, ignoring Jensen's harsh tone. "Okay," he said. His hand slid up Jensen's thigh until his fingers reached the hem of his boxers, tugging at them playfully. "How about I help you take these off then."

"Jared."

"What? Got anything pressing to do? Anything more important?" Jared asked with an amused smirk. 

He pushed up, kissing Jensen before he could answer. Resting his free hand on Jensen's neck, he held him close as they kissed, tongue teasing against Jensen's parted lips but not sliding in.

"God, you smell. What did you do?" Jensen asked when Jared pulled away again, but his voice was a little breathless and his fingers were fumbling with Jared's t-shirt.

"Playing with the kids." Jared pushed Jensen back onto the mattress. 

He tugged his shirt off and then climbed on top of Jensen, knees bracing his thigh and leaned down, kissing Jensen again.

Jensen hummed into his mouth, and Jared flicked his tongue against Jensen's lips playfully, Jensen's tongue slipping out to chase his. He slid his hands up Jensen's body, felt the muscles of Jensen's stomach quiver under his palms as he dragged his hands further up. He rubbed his thumb over one of Jensen's nipples, eliciting a small moan from Jensen, the nipple hardening. 

"Wanna fuck you," he said, sliding his hand to the other nipple to repeat his action. 

Jensen groaned, arching up slightly.

They hadn't done much since Jensen's accidents, just hand jobs and blowjobs, making out for hours like they'd last done when they'd gotten together. Jared hadn't fucked Jensen since before the accident, half an eternity ago when Jensen had visited him in Australia for a few short days. With Jensen's knee immobilized for the past couple of weeks, Jared had been careful around him, trying to find ways that didn't require Jensen to move much, but god, he wanted more.

"God please, Jared." Jensen's eyes fluttered close.

It had been way too long.

He hooked his thumbs under the waistband of Jensen's briefs, tugging them down Jensen's legs, fumbling a little when it got caught on the brace. Jensen was already hard and thick, shiny at the tip with precum.

Kneeling between Jensen's spread legs, Jensen's hurt one flat on the mattress, he trailed fingers upwards, running them over the sensitive skin high up his inner thigh, and watched the way Jensen shivered at the touch. He leaned down, his lips following the path his fingers had just taken.

"Jared," Jensen said, voice half warning and half encouraging. 

"Hmm?" Jared hummed against his skin, parting his lips to suck a patch of flesh between his teeth. He bit down playfully, felt Jensen's hands tangle in his hair.

"Goddamn tease," Jensen groaned, trying to pull Jared higher.

Jared laughed softly, but obliged, continuing his path up. He felt the coarse hair of Jensen's pubes brush against his nose and nuzzled them, hand sliding between Jensen's legs, over his balls, lower.

Jensen gasped when Jared's finger found his opening. Jared ran small circles over it but didn't press in just yet, just enough pressure to feel Jensen react. He brought his hand up again, sucking fingers into his mouth and twirling his tongue around them wetly, slicking them up as best as he could before bringing them back against Jensen's hole.

"Jesus, just do it," Jensen said, pushing against him.

"Hold still," Jared ordered. 

He pushed the first finger into Jensen slowly, feeling the ring of muscles tighten around him before giving away, letting him in deeper. It always made his stomach drop, the moment he pushed in, knowing that his cock would be inside Jensen soon, too, that he'd get to feel the same tight heat enfold him.

He wrapped his free hand around Jensen's cock, stroking him as he worked his finger in and out, listening to the small gasps he drew from Jensen.

Retrieving the lube from the nightstand, he slicked up his fingers deliberately before adding a second. At the initial intrusion, he lowered his head and wrapped his lips around Jensen's dick, taking Jensen in deep as he pushed his fingers in to the halt.

 

He bobbed his head up and down, saliva dripping down sloppily, and fucked Jensen with his fingers, rubbing them against Jensen's prostate.

"Jared," Jensen moaned, arching up. 

Jared pulled his head back up almost all the way, stilling until Jensen did, too, apparently understanding Jared's silent message. Jared wanted this as much as Jensen did, but he'd be damned if Jensen ended up fucking his knee up even worse because of him.

He pressed a third finger in along with the other two when Jensen calmed down, and let Jensen's cock slide from his lips. His hand was still wrapped around the base and he started stroking Jensen again, slowly and in rhythm with his fingers pushing in and out.

"Good?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jensen said, his vice broken.

He crooked his fingers inside of Jensen. "Ready for more?" He lifted his head enough to see Jensen nod, then kissed Jensen's hipbone briefly. "How do you wanna do this?"

Jensen took a moment to response, his breath coming out in short pants. "Guess taking the brace off is out?"

"I'm not explaining to your doctor what we were doing if you hurt yourself again."

Jared pulled his fingers out of Jensen, sitting back on his haunches. Jensen was flushed, hair disheveled, sweat making his skin shine. Jared's own cock was hard inside his jeans, leaking precum and god, he wanted Jensen so bad it almost hurt.

"We could try it with me on the side," Jensen suggested.

Jared looked down at Jensen, then nodded. He crawled off the bed, kicking off his jeans and boxers in one go as he watched Jensen roll onto his side, shift into a comfortable position. His back was to Jared, braced leg straight out and the other one pulled up, his ass displayed.

"You have no idea how fucking gorgeous you are like this." Jared slid behind Jensen, felt Jensen's body against his. 

"Stop buttering me up and fuck me already," Jensen said, voice playful, as he looked back at Jared. Jared laughed, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jensen's lips.

He ripped open a condom wrapped, rolled it down his erection, and popped the tube of lube back open, coating his dick. 

Jared pushed in slowly, hand on Jensen's hip and his leg slotted up behind Jensen's bent one, foot digging into the mattress for leverage. Jensen was hot and tight around him, so damn perfect. Jared sucked in a shaky breath, pressing his forehead to Jensen's shoulder.

"Feel amazing," he muttered as he started rocking into Jensen, felt him squirm against him.

Over Jensen's shoulder he could see Jensen slide his hand down his chest, stomach, wrap it around his cock. He watched Jensen's hand move in time with Jared's thrusts, dick sliding in and out of his fist as Jared buried himself inside him, his cock throbbing. 

It wasn't the perfect position, the angle a little off and Jared's foot kept slipping on the mattress, but it felt amazing, having Jensen around him, body and scent and breathy moans wrapping around Jared. 

Jensen shuddered when he came, and Jared could feel the movement against him, felt Jensen contract around him. He fucked Jensen through it, short, sharp thrusts as his hands slid around Jensen to pull him closer, hold him tight. 

Heat pooled in his stomach and his dick pulsed inside of Jensen, the orgasm washing over him.

Jared lay boneless, unmoving, his arms still around Jensen. He pressed his forehead to the back of Jensen's neck.

"Leg okay?" he asked when he'd caught his breath.

Jensen gave a surprised laugh. "That's your first thought? Really?"

"Apparently."

Jensen snuggling back against him. "It's fine."

Jared titled his head, nuzzling his nose against Jensen's skin and pressed a kiss to it. "'kay," he mumbled.

They rolled apart eventually, extracting their bodies, and Jared got off the bed, disposing off the condom and getting a wet cloth from the bathroom. 

Jensen was on his back when he came back, sheets pulled over his body. Jared held up the cloth and Jensen shook his head, yawning.

"Used my boxers," he said, holding up the sheets. "Come nap."

"You just took a nap."

Jensen shrugged as Jared climbed back onto the bed. "Nothing better to do anyway, right? Maybe this whole thing isn't so bad after all," he amended. There was a small smile on his lips, his earlier bad mood forgotten.

Jared grinned. He snuggled close, ignoring Jensen's half-hearted protests, and closed his eyes.

This was more than _not so bad_ , he thought. This was exactly what Jared wanted.

\+ 

_Law & Order_ was playing on TV. Judging by the awfully bad hair some of the characters were sporting, Jared thought it might be a rerun. One of the billion seasons he could never keep apart. It was all the same anyway. Jensen had watched the show occasionally when they still lived in Vancouver, said he liked it because it was so different from what they did that it took his mind off things, but Jared thought the world could do without it.

He wasn't really paying attention to the show now either. He kept glancing at Jensen, who was curled up against his side, legs up on the couch and his head on Jared's shoulder. 

He looked different, Jared thought. Softer. There was no product in his hair, he was blinking sleepily as his eyes followed the action on the screen, and his hoodie was oversized, an old one of Jared's.

The light was dim, but Jared thought he could see smatters of freckles anyway. He reached out, trailing the tip of his finger down the side of Jensen's nose, along his cheekbone.

Jensen titled his head up, a curious, amused smile on his face. "What're you doing?"

"Watching," Jared teased. He kissed the bridge of Jensen's nose.

Jensen chuckled. "Sap," he said. "We can change the channel if you're bored."

"Nah, I'm good." 

"Okay," Jensen turned his head back down, hair brushing against Jared's neck. He slid his hand over Jared's stomach, fingers curled in Jared's sweater.

He didn't want to let go of this, Jared thought, and it made his heart ache a little. He spent the last days thinking about this – about what he wanted, what he'd discussed with John. Most of all, he'd thought how to broach this to Jensen. How to tell Jensen that what Jared wanted most in his life was to come to Jensen at the end of the day, to sleep in their bed with him, and wake up together. To have this closeness that they shared right now become a permanent part of their relationship again.

"Are you sure you don't want me to find something else?" Jensen asked, pinching Jared's side. "I can guess how this ends anyway."

Jared let his hand slide further down Jensen's back, hooked his fingers into Jensen's belt hoops. "I don't mind," Jared said. 

"You're not watching."

"Just got some things on my mind," Jared replied, kissing Jensen's forehead. 

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Jared hesitated before shaking his head. "It's nothing special. Just work."

"Did anything happen at the meeting last week? Something I should know about? You've been a little distracted ever since."

"No. Nothing happened. I'm just thinking about some projects John talked about. Stuff like that."

"You said nothing caught your attention."

"It didn't," Jared said honestly. "John just had some scripts he thought I should do, but they, uh, weren't my thing."

"Okay," Jensen said, sounding unconvinced. 

"Really, Jen," Jared assured. "Just keep watching your show."

Jensen grunted, but Jared felt his body relax, attention shifting back to the TV eventually. 

He kissed the top of Jensen's head, glad that Jensen was dropping the topic when Jared didn't yet know how to talk to Jensen about it. His decision wasn't exactly life altering, but it wasn't a decision he could make on his own. There was no use in staying in Los Angeles more when Jensen kept taking on jobs all over the continent, no use in sitting at home on his own, but at the same time, he wanted it to be Jensen's choice. Jared didn't know how tell Jensen what he wanted without taking the decision away from Jensen, without making him feel like he had to go along with Jared. He wanted them to be in this together, to want this, and more than anything, Jared feared that Jensen wasn't ready for that.

\+ 

"Hey Donna," Jared said when Jensen's mom picked up the phone, relaxing into the couch with a yawn.

"Well, if it isn't my third son," Donna said. "Hi, sweetie. How are things?"

"Pretty good. Thanks."

"And Jensen?"

"Good," Jared said, glancing up at the ceiling automatically. It was late morning, but so far there'd been no sign up life from Jensen yet. He'd looked in on him when he'd been done with his morning routine of taking the dogs for a run and working out, but Jensen had still been out cold then. "Still sleeping."

"He's always been lazy when he had nothing better to do," Donna laughed.

"Not much else he's been able to do lately."

"How's his knee?"

"It's better. He's been doing good, walking around more, and his physical therapist seems pretty happy with the way he's healing. He's got a doctor's appointment in a few days and if all goes well, he can get rid of the brace then."

"That's good. I bet he's been driving you crazy," Donna said. "He broke his leg once when he was younger, and god, was he grumpy. I think I was never as relieved in my life as when his cast came off."

Jared laughed. "He's actually been okay. I expected much worse from Jensen."

"Hmm. Yeah, he sounded pretty mellow when we talked the last few times," Donna agreed. "Guess that's your doing. From what he's been telling me you've been doing a good job taking care of him."

"I don't mind," Jared said, shrugging even if Donna couldn't see him. "Is what I'm here for."

"Well, I'm glad he has someone like you," she said, her voice soft and sincere.

Jared felt himself flush a little. "He'd probably do the same for me," he amended. 

"Of course!" Donna said. "The boy is absolutely crazy over you."

Jared grinned. "I'm too. Over him," he said. "Anyway, I actually called because I thought I might make your lasagna for him and was wondering if you could give me the recipe."

"Oh, of course, sweetie. You got something to make notes?"

Jared reached for the piece of paper and pen he'd retrieved before calling Jensen's mom. "Yup. And don't leave out any details, my cooking skills leave something to be desired."

"You got it," Donna laughed. 

She talked him through the recipe slowly, and Jared took careful notes.

"Okay, I think I got it," Jared finally said, looking down at page full of small scribbles.

"You'll do fine."

"Thanks, Donna," Jared said. "I'll call you when I have any more questions."

"You do that. But I'm sure it'll turn out fine," she said. She seemed to hesitate then. "Any special occasion that you wanna cook one of Jensen's favorites?"

"Uh, well, there is something I wanted to discuss with Jensen," Jared admitted, running a hand through his hair.

"Yeah? I know I'm being noisy, but -- does it happen to involve a ring?" she asked, sounding excited.

Jared stilled, felt a sudden burst of nervousness. "I--uh, no," he said, slowly. "Why would -- I mean. Did Jensen say something about getting _married_?"

"Oh. No. I was just asking. Wishful thinking and all that, you know," Donna replied hastily, and Jared wasn't sure if what he was feeling was relief or disappointment. "I just thought you two might want to make it official. That's all."

"We've never talked about that," he said, and told himself it wasn't really a lie. They'd talked about it once not too long after they'd gotten together. He didn't remember what prompted it, maybe something they saw on TV or something someone said, but he asked Jensen once if he wanted that one day, a husband and a house and maybe kids. Jensen had said yes then, but it had never come up again, their lives too busy, their relationship pushed aside for work too often to even consider marriage.

"You haven't?" Donna said. "Jared, darling, I'm not trying to interfere with your relationship and push you towards something you might not want, but you've been together for five years."

"I know," Jared said. "I know. It just hasn't come up yet. I'm not sure he'd even want that."

"He would," Donna said, sounding absolutely convinced.

Jared hesitated, running a hand through his hair, then said, "So he has said something?"

There was a short silence. 

"No, not directly. But we've talked about it a couple of times. I might have brought it up, you know. I bet your mother asked you about when the of you two will get married."

Jared snorted. "She has. More than once."

"Mothers do that. We just want our kids to be happy," she said.

"And Jensen said we would get married? Some day, I mean."

"Don't you think that's something you should ask him?"

"I guess, yeah," Jared admitted, wishing Donna wasn't right. Wishing she'd just say whatever Jensen had said to her. "Anyway, thanks for the recipe."

"No problem. Give my son a kiss from me and tell him to call me, okay?"

"Will do," Jared promised. 

He stared at the phone in his hand for a minute after they hung up before getting up with a sigh, his head still reeling.

\+ 

"Chocolate pie," Jensen said, looking down at the plate in front of him before back at Jared. "Man, first lasagna and now chocolate pie? What'd I do to deserve this?"

Jared grinned, sitting back on his chair. "Guess you're just really lucky," he said, picking up his wine glass and taking a sip.

"I am," Jensen replied. He took the first bite of his pie, closing his eyes and moaning exaggeratedly.

Jared chuckled, picking up his own fork. "Good?"

"Fucking awesome, man," Jensen said. "You're spoiling me rotten."

"Yeah," Jared shrugged, fiddling with the fork in his hand.

"So you wanna tell me?"

"Tell you?" Jared repeated, looking at Jensen who was giving him a curious look.

Jensen gestured at the table. "This is a pretty elaborate dinner for us. It's not a birthday or anniversary, so I guess there has to be another reason for all this, right?"

"Maybe I just wanted to do something nice."

"Hi, I'm your best friend," Jensen said with a fake smile. "In case you forgot, I know you better than anybody. So drop that innocent act and tell me, because you're making me a little nervous."

"Okay, maybe there's something I think we should talk about."

Jensen sucked in a breath. "Fine," he said. "Just -- if you did all this to butter me up before dumping me or something like that, I'll kick your ass."

Jared chuckled, surprised. "Dully noted," he replied. "And that's not what this is about at all."

Jensen nodded. "Okay, so no dumping then. Go on."

"I actually do want to talk about our relationship," Jared started. "I don't want us to spend so much time apart anymore."

"Which means what exactly?" Jensen asked slowly, his expression serious as he watched Jared carefully.

Jared bit his lower lip. "Well, uh, whatever you want it to mean, I guess," he said with a shrug. "I've been thinking about this for a while, but the last few weeks here with you made me realize some things. I love you, and I love being with you. And I want to actually _be_ with you again. I don't want us to only see each other between jobs. It's like when one of us is here, the other is gone."

"Yeah," Jensen agreed with a furrowed brow. His eyes were on his wine glass, fingers tracing over the rim, and when he looked back up he chuckled wryly. "I'm not too happy with that either."

"I don't want my career to take priority over our relationship," Jared admitted. "I miss the old days sometimes."

Jensen smiled softly, nodding. "Me too. Going home together each night, passing the time between takes in our trailers, weekends together."

"Yeah. I know it can't be like that exactly, but I want to be home more. Work in L.A. more, maybe work a little less."

"I'd like that," Jensen said with a nod, and Jared smiled. "For both of us."

"Really? You don't have to decide anything right away. I've given this a lot of thought, and I don't want you to feel like I'm springing this on you and you have to make up your mind tonight."

"Jay, you think I haven't been having similar thoughts for a while now?"

"You have?" Jared asked. 

"You're it for me, Jay, you know that. Of course I haven't been happy with barely seeing you and I want that to change, too. I want you around, all the time if I had my way."

Jared felt his heart trip a little, the conversation he'd had with Donna this morning coming back to his mind. Whether he'd explicitly said anything to Donna or she'd just read between the lines, looking at Jensen's earnest expression, Jared knew that what she'd said was true, Jensen would really marry him. All Jared would have to do was ask. 

"What?" Jensen prompted, looking at him curiously.

"Nothing," Jared said, and waved Jensen off. 

He wouldn't ask, not yet, he thought, but his lips twitched into a smile at the thought. Some day he'd buy a ring and prepare a cheesy speech that Jensen would tease him about for the rest of his life, but Jared wouldn't care. Because Jared knew that when he proposed, Jensen was going to say yes.

"I'm just happy," he said. "Being here, with you."


End file.
